I tried to climb the rock. The sun was hot on my back making me sweat. I braced myself on the rock and I could hear my heart beat fast as. It was treacherous climb.
A brief but great piece of writing Kayden. You could have said the sweat dripped down my back .... remember to show not tell. Treacherous is a great word to use. Nice work!
Hi, My name is Chelsea Calvert. I am a student at the University of South Alabama in EDM310. You did a great job of being descriptive in this post. I liked how you said " I could hear my heart beat" meaning that you were nervous and having some difficulty. Good job! Here is my blog if you would like to check it out: http://calvertchelseaedm310.blogspot.com/
A brief but great piece of writing Kayden. You could have said the sweat dripped down my back .... remember to show not tell. Treacherous is a great word to use. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteMrs Nua
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ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteMy name is Chelsea Calvert. I am a student at the University of South Alabama in EDM310. You did a great job of being descriptive in this post. I liked how you said " I could hear my heart beat" meaning that you were nervous and having some difficulty. Good job!
Here is my blog if you would like to check it out: http://calvertchelseaedm310.blogspot.com/